A compilation of my autobiographical posts and anti-religious rants in easy to read digital document. From the original Facebook post:
Ladies and gentlemen. With much gratitude to Hashem Yisborach for all that He has done for me (Fucked me up considerably, mostly) and in conjunction with Metzorah Press, I’m happy to announce the self-publication of my book, which I have lovingly named “Die Trying” to commemorate my Over-Achieving Attitude Towards Everything.
It is a compilation of two parts – my memoir, as viewed through the trauma of growing up religious (there are other angles to my life as well, I acknowledge) and my anti-religious rants. Both are equally important to me, although one of those subjects pissed a lot more people off than the other.
What makes this book different from all other books? Well, tonight we eat cauliflower dipped in Shalom Tzvi’s tears, and we don’t usually do that. Also, one of the sons at this table is evil and I’m not gonna say who.
Finally, this book comes with an introduction that says everything I just said and more, a summary, and most fun of all, a glossary of sarcastic explanations for key terms like “Kiddush Levana” that you may not fully understand, and which I don’t fully understand, but which I attempt to explain anyway.
This book is a good answer for all those people who want my life story in a linear and organized way, or for those who don’t have Facebook, or women I date who I don’t feel like telling my life story to; or for people who would benefit from emailing an entire cohesive structure to other random people instead of a random disjointed link to my Facebook post, causing them to hate me even more.
This book allowed me to organize my thoughts and story in the most organized way I could think of, giving things the most context, which I know is a terrible thing for all those devoted to taking it all out of context. Fuck you. I’ve out-contextualized you. But you can always just copy and paste the “Fuck you” from the last sentence and email my grandparents. That works too.