Satire

One of my biggest struggles, even when I was still religious, was with the realization that as a person I had grown way more from therapy and self-help books than from any amount of “Torah wisdom”. This was unacceptable to me. I didn’t want it to be this way. Torah...

“You know what Olam Habah is?” Explains the Slonimer Rebbe. “Olam Habah is the entire earth covered in dump trucks full of gold. And then stack them on top of each other until you reach the sky.” That’s a fuckton of gold. Go get some. -- “Love me, daddy,” says Michael Friedberg, deftly...

This was a post I wrote in my teens, while I was still very much religious. As you can see, I was still very bothered by the absolutely abysmal quality of literate in the Jewish community. BS”D By C. Yackobovitch Writing Frum novels can be an exciting, creative and rewarding experience....

Interesting anecdote about this book cover. It's a composite of two different Rabbi faces, i.e. it's not any specific Rabbi, so that I wouldn't poke fun unnecessarily at someone. That's how much of a tzadik I am. From the back cover: Rabbi Shlomo Levi Birenshmaltz (ZATZHA"L: of blessed, blessed memory), like...

Blessed art thou God, who gave the rooster knowledge to differentiate between day and night Every morning, the wakeup ritual was the same. Someone would drag a boom box into the dormitory hallway, and crank out the same Miami Boys song as loudly as they could. “I am grateful to...

See also, Anal.

Torah! Oh Torah! It’s the absolute truthIt’s better than coke or ice cold vermouthThe Torah’s our guide to tell us wrongful from rightfulTo make the right choices, now ain’t that delightful?Because you can't ever just trust your own teensy brainTo make moral choices, that would be a strain Our purpose...

“The will of God is so,” explains the The Kiruv Rabbi in the most non-condescending voice he can muster. The Pimply Kid before him, plucked from the bottom of the university barrel, nodded stupidly. “And so,” continued the Rabbi, “It figures by default that the Jews are the most important people...

What lost objects are your own, and which must you return to their owners?Rabbi Akiva says a stack of four coins.Rabbi Meir says five.Who is right? Teiku. No one knows. Schmaltzburg leaned against the fence and took a deep drag of the cigarette. It burned, this being the cheapest, shittiest brand...

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me this, I'd have enough money to start my own religion. Or at least my own congregation. Same difference, really. Everyone seems to have some magical elusive Judaism that I'm missing out on."Your Judaism is not like my Judaism.""You should...