Guidelines

188

From the back cover:

“This generation, like every generation before it, is a confusing time. Like all eras, ours is the worst. More than ever, progress (a very unfortunate thing indeed) has created new situations that we are not accustomed to. What is a Jew to do?

How can one can one separate the roses from the thorns? The wheat from the chaff? The trite from the cliché? How can one walk the tightrope, the narrow path, the windy road, the tenuous metaphor without falling off?

Enter Torah. This timeless manuscript, written before earth was even invented yet (Over 7,000 years ago!) is the blueprint for reality itself. For example, the first letter of every word in a certain verse spells the word “Pizza”.

The Torah is your way to make sense of life. To do the right thing, at the right time. Confused? Just flip open this book. You’ll find the answer here.

Sometimes, though, you won’t. Sometimes, the answer isn’t completely clear even though God himself wrote this book, and he wrote it specifically with YOU, (insert name), in mind. But still, you can’t expect Him to do everything, so God has empowered certain people to clarify things for you.

Enter Rabbis. These fearless articulators of God’s word are here to help guide you. To help you find the meaning in the mundane, clarity in the chaos, the right Pizza in the right verse. They are the strawberry sauce to the Torah’s cheesecake – with them, it all comes together in a beautiful symphony of clarity and direction.

And since Rabbis are the best thing since sliced bread, He gave us lots of them. Lots of Rabbis, with lots of opinions. Remember, you should keep all of those opinions, because every Rabbi is special. And every Rabbi is always right. They may be wrong sometimes, but rest assured that they are right then too.

We’re happy to present you this entire book full of contradictory advice, to help guide you in every moment of your life. Not sure what path to take? Take all of them. But be careful not to stray.”

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