My Rabbi is Bigger

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If I had a dollar for every time someone told me this, I’d have enough money to start my own religion. Or at least my own congregation. Same difference, really.

Everyone seems to have some magical elusive Judaism that I’m missing out on.
“Your Judaism is not like my Judaism.”
“You should meet Rabbi Feiglebaum. He’s great, and he’s not even judgmental!”
“There’s this great book/shiur/podcast I’m reading, you should check it out.”

Here’s my question. How did I, with all my 14 years of Torah study, miss out on such a core part of this supposed Judaism? If it’s such an important insight/attitude/approach, where the fuck has it been this whole time?

God certainly knew exactly how to make it clear just how fucked you’d be if you crossed him. But somehow he, in his Infinite Wisdom TM, neglected to mention that amazing Kabbalistic insight until it was discovered in the 16th century and can now only be accessed in a dinky weekly class on a side street in nachlaot you’ve been going to?

Furthermore. Not one person has been able to articulate to me what this elusively amazing Judaism actually is. It’s always this exasperated sigh, “Oh dear, if only you’d had my amazing 3rd grade teacher you’d know the truth.”

“Tsk tsk, seems you’re just a bit too late to be open to hearing the amazing seminar that is mostly based off Buddhism but has a bit of some contemporary Rabbi’s ideas thrown in.”

If you’ve got some amazing insight, say it. I’d like to believe I can respectfully hear it. So far all I’ve got is some amorphous references to the Nirvana behind the paywall, some Scientology level I don’t have access to because I haven’t paid enough.

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