All And Nothing


“Judaism is not all or nothing,” they preached at Aish Essentials. “Do what you can, God appreciates it all, every bit counts.

Except, word on the street was that when you entered Intermediate I, Motty Berger had a class where he explained that it was all or nothing. Sorry, we lied, lol. Definitely the only time we’ve done that.

I do not know what secret laws Motty Berger revealed in Intermediate I, because I was too advanced to ever attend it.

But I do know that Judaism is full of alls and nothings.

Jews are the be all and end all. Non-Jews are accessories, the dirt under our feet in the world to come.

We had the secret of of true meaning and real happiness. Everything else was hopelessness and despair.

‘Here, want to hear my story of how I was depressed before I found religion? Of how I was looking for “something more” and found it in religion?’

“Do not believe in yourself until the day you die.” You could be 80 years old and ruin it all with a single blasphemy.

Kares. 36 ways for you to lose your place in the world to come, which is the purpose of all existence. And what do you get it for? Eating unleavened bread. Sex with a menstruating women. You’re one step away from a fate worse than hell, boy. It used to be that public lashes would atone for Kores. But we no longer have that option, unfortunately, so you’re fucked.

But don’t worry, this only applies if you do it on purpose. If it’s an accident, it’s just a grave sin.


Shabbat comes in at 5:56. It ends at 6:32. You need 3.2 ounces on Matza on Passover, to fulfill your obligation. And 5.2 ounces of wine per cup.

Whip out your kitchen scale. Ignore your body weight.

So much for gradients. So much for God getting the bigger picture.

Seems like the law is in human hands, as well as our ability to predict how God will treat the sinners. Human judges exercise judgment, God treats everyone the same.

All and Nothing. Mostly nothing.

Facebook Comments