In this episode of Beyond Belief, Tales of Religious Exodus, Sholem Svi interviews David, a former member of the Orthodox Jewish community who shares his personal journey of leaving the faith. They discuss David’s upbringing in a gradually more observant family, his engagement with online communities like the X Jew subreddit, and his exploration of different faiths including Christianity. David details his conflict with religious doctrines, familial expectations, and finding his own path. He also touches on the role of community, the support from friends, and his experiences with love and acceptance within and outside his religious background. This episode provides an intimate look into the complexities of religious identity and personal transformation.
00:00 Introduction to Beyond Belief
00:19 David’s Reddit Connection
02:41 David’s Background and Upbringing
09:00 Transition to Orthodoxy
11:15 Struggles with Orthodoxy
13:06 College Years and Questioning Faith
19:21 Post-College Life and Continued Doubts
23:06 Current Beliefs and Reflections
32:33 Questioning the Chosen People
33:30 Religious Discrimination and Hostility
34:39 Personal Reflections on Religious Practices
35:04 Journey to Cantorial School
36:12 Interfaith Relationship Challenges
39:27 Exploring Christianity
42:21 Role of a Cantor and Spiritual Advisor
52:40 Navigating Social Dynamics After Leaving Orthodoxy
58:02 Parental Acceptance and Family Dynamics
01:01:24 Words of Wisdom for Those in Transition
01:03:02 Musical Expression and Final Thoughts
Podcast Summary
Leaving the Fold: Daveed’s Journey Out of Orthodoxy and Embracing New Beliefs
Welcome to Beyond Belief, Tales of Religious Exodus, where we delve into the personal journeys of people who’ve left fundamentalist religions. In today’s post, we share the remarkable story of Daveed. His narrative is one of searching for meaning, grappling with identity, and ultimately, finding healing and love outside of his Orthodox Jewish upbringing.
An Introduction to Daveed’s Story
Daveed begins his journey as a child of an Israeli father and a Cuban-Jewish mother. Growing up, his family was not particularly religious. They kept kosher inside the house but were otherwise secular. It wasn’t until Daveed was around eight years old that his family slowly started adopting more stringent religious practices. This gradual shift led them to fully embrace Orthodox Judaism over the course of two or three years.
Despite not being born into a strictly observant household, Daveed found a passion for his newfound religious lifestyle. He dedicated himself to learning Torah, memorizing Mishnayot, and even becoming a chazan (cantor) in his community. However, as he reached adulthood, cracks began to appear in his commitment to Orthodoxy.
The Shift: Questioning and Turning Points
Daveed’s high school years were fraught with academic difficulties, as he struggled to balance his love for theater with the rigorous demands of a religious education. When he was accepted into Yeshiva University (YU), it felt more like a financial necessity for the institution rather than an academic achievement for him.
The pivotal moment came when Daveed broke Shabbat for the first time by using his computer. His intense feelings of guilt and subsequent confrontation with his roommate marked the starting point of his departure from the Orthodox way of life. The experience left him questioning the rules and restrictions that had governed his life.
After being dismissed from YU due to poor grades, Daveed found himself back in Miami, attending community college and delving into theater. This exposure to diverse people and cultures began to dissolve the metaphorical bubble in which he had lived. Despite being deeply entangled in religious practices, meeting new people and experiencing different ways of life were slowly but surely changing his worldview.
The Final Straw: Love and Family Challenges
Daveed’s relationship with an Italian Catholic girl intensified his internal conflict. Falling in love with her made him question the tenets of Orthodox Judaism even more. Despite breaking up twice due to family pressures, he eventually decided that his love for her was worth the struggle against his strict Orthodox background.
Social and familial backlash became a significant obstacle. People from his past avoided him, and he faced harsh judgments for his relationship. Yet, the support of new friends and communities played a critical role in helping him navigate through these challenging times.
Finding New Paths and Meaning
Intriguingly, Daveed found solace in the core values of Christianity. The concepts of love, understanding, and compassion in Christianity began to resonate with him. He was particularly moved by the show “The Chosen” and even had a profound dream involving Jesus.
Despite his departure from Orthodoxy, Daveed’s passion for Jewish music and potential interest in becoming a cantor remained. However, institutional barriers within both conservative and reform Judaism due to his interfaith relationship further complicated his journey.
Conclusion: A Journey for Love and Acceptance
Daveed’s story is one of resilience, love, and an unyielding quest for personal truth. From a secular upbringing to a devout Orthodox life, and now an exploration of Christianity, his journey encapsulates the struggles and triumphs of leaving a fundamentalist religious environment.
For those going through similar experiences, Daveed offers straightforward advice: “Listen to your heart. It’s scary, but take the leap. It’ll be hard and painful at times, but you’ll be happier in the long run.”
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