For a long time, I was angry at religion for its own sake. And don't get me wrong, the thing is full of irrational beliefs and oppressive ideas. But I'm coming to appreciate over time how, like almost all things,...
Join me on an exciting adventure through the Jewish year, as we explore how each holiday contributes to its own mental health disorder. The power of Jewish Wisdom compells you! The theme through all of this is disproportion - doing one thing to the...
Gedlya Goldfinger holstered his PsalmRay. Whereas the rest of the Goyishe Velt used neutron chips and nanotechnology to power their zappers, the psalm ray, engineered by The Conglomeration of Rabbis Against Advanced Technology, had been constructed mechanically. It was very steampunk,...
"Judaism is not all or nothing," they preached at Aish Essentials. "Do what you can, God appreciates it all, every bit counts. Except, word on the street was that when you entered Intermediate I, Motty Berger had a class where he explained that it...
The Bible: And every seven years, leave your land fallow and do not farm it. And I promise I shall give you such blessing on the sixth year that it will suffice you for the the sixth, seventh and eighth years. For I am the lord God,...
I originally wrote this post while I was still religious, and published it under a pseudonym on Jewrotica. At this point, gentlemen, I have nothing to hide. Berel Shtiklwitz was an entrepreneur. A social entrepreneur, to be exact. He recognized...
From the creators of the Dvar Torah generator, comes the brand new Ancient Jewish Holiday Generator! For years, Jews have been inventing holidays in God's name and backdating them into the very fabric of history. With mystical significance and a shitload of intricate rules,...
On Purim, they almost killed us, but in the end they didn’t, we killed 75,000 of them instead.  And these weren’t normal enemies, mind you. These were descendants of Amalek, whom we are commanded to kill every last man woman and child of. You...
Fear. It was the name of the entire minority. There are Blacks, there are Hispanics, there are “The fearful ones”. Like the shittiest gang name ever. They looked around at a country full of...

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Even More Freidom

How to Write a Frum Novel

This was a post I wrote in my teens, while I was still very much...

A Neurotic Journey Through the Jewish Calendar

Join me on an exciting adventure through the Jewish year, as we explore how each...

If We Were a Cult, Would We Be Making This Joke?

Rule #1 of cults, according to the international society of cults, is don't call yourself...

How Fucking Convenient

It's a holocaust out there. Thus was the Aish narrative. A...