Satire

Dvar Torah Generator

Attending a Bar Mitzvah and lost for words? Trying to impress your future father in...

Pew Pew

Gedlya Goldfinger holstered his PsalmRay. Whereas the rest of the Goyishe Velt used neutron chips and...

The Sweetness of Melons

"Never was there as happy a time," the Mishna says, "than Tu B’av. Because on...

They Stone Gays, Don’t They?

This one’s a doozy. Bear with me. Also, if you have a bit of context,...

Teiku

What lost objects are your own, and which must you return to their owners?Rabbi Akiva...

Maybe You’re Extra Delusional

I was recently called arrogant by a Shabbos guest. I didn’t object, because maybe I’m arrogant,...

Book Covers

Good news: if you have money, even being A Good Jew in The Eyes of God™ is easier. Instead of slaving away getting your house clean for Passover, just sell your house to a non-Jew (awesome loophole, Rabbis!) and go to the nearest tropical resort you can find. There, you...
See also, Hashgacha Pratis.
If you believe in God from a philosophical point of view, you shouldn’t need any emotional scaffolding to keep things up. The absurdity of one-off inspirational stories of any kind should be obvious to even the most casual of contemplators, and yet it forms a huge part of religious culture. I...

Biography

Quotes and Memes

Philosphy

Mark Twain Loved the Jews! Do Yous?

Torah! Oh Torah! It’s the absolute truthIt’s better than coke or ice cold vermouthThe Torah’s our guide...

On Compassion

It’s hard to be compassionate when you’re afraid. And charedim are afraid of everything. Of God, of...

Fiction

Lights Out

In 1946, following the holocaust, a highly unusual event occurred, one that involved, for the first time in history, the unification of different sects...

Kiruv

who was rabbi noach weinberg noah aish hatorah
One of my earliest memories of Rabbi Noach Weinberg, also known by the more anglicized name of Noah Weinberg, was when I encountered him in the street as a young child. I was intimidated by him, but he gave me the brightest smile and fished through his briefcase for a lollypop. (I can't remember whether he found one or...
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me this, I'd have enough money to start my own religion. Or at least my own congregation. Same difference, really. Everyone seems to have some magical elusive Judaism that I'm missing out on."Your Judaism is not like my Judaism.""You should meet Rabbi Feiglebaum. He's great, and he's not even judgmental!""There's...