Satire
Shul Name Generator
Are you starting a new synagogue, and not sure what to call it?
Are you an...
Maybe You’re Extra Delusional
I was recently called arrogant by a Shabbos guest.
I didn’t object, because maybe I’m arrogant,...
War Generator
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The 5 Spiritual Love Languages
Judaism teaches that our interpersonal relationships are just a key to relating to God, especially...
A Neurotic Journey Through the Jewish Calendar
Join me on an exciting adventure through the Jewish year, as we explore how each...
The Paperclip, The Thumbtack, & The Toilet Plunger
Shloime the Website Builder of Chelm presents...
Book Covers
Good news: if you have money, even being A Good Jew in The Eyes of God™ is easier.
Instead of slaving away getting your house clean for Passover, just sell your house to a non-Jew (awesome loophole, Rabbis!) and go to the nearest tropical resort you can find. There, you...
Hear me out.
You know how Song of Songs, that legendary work of erotic poetry by the wisest of all men, is not actually at all erotic poetry? It's actually a metaphor for God's love for the Jewish people? It's actually the holiest book ever, by virtue of the old...
The book cover that started it all. Looking back almost three years to the original comment, I see that I actually independently came up with many of these original ideas.
Other titles I can currently come up with include:
"Why? answers to life's biggest questions (that just create new questions instead)""The...
Biography
Philosphy
“Moral Equivalency”
Much as militant religion is full of contradictory claims, each invoked at the right moment, militant ethno-nationalism...
Fighting from The Rear (aka My Ass)
Growing up, the narrative that Ultra Orthodox Jews (aka "Charedim") had as to why they weren't serving...
48 Habits of Highly Effective People
One of my biggest struggles, even when I was still religious, was with the realization that as...
Fiction
Lights Out
In 1946, following the holocaust, a highly unusual event occurred, one that involved, for the first time in history, the unification of different sects...
Kiruv
For a long time, I was angry at religion for its own sake.
And don't get me wrong, the thing is full of irrational beliefs and oppressive ideas.
But I'm coming to appreciate over time how, like almost all things, Fundamentalist Religion is really just a tool - a stiff and largely inflexible construct, sort of like a dildo...
I hate this time of year.
I hate personal growth that gets scheduled on a calendar. A month where everyone goes on their best behavior, like they’re being audited by some heavenly oversight authority.
I hate scripted apologies. A specific time of year wherever everyone needs to ask everyone else to forgive them at the exact same time.
Aww, isn’t it nice...