Satire
Lost, Not Found
The 80s get a bad rap. For synth music and terrible fashion. Generalized away in...
Deception
This one is a kiruv special, not aimed at Judaism as a whole.
"Did you know...
Dik Picks
You want proofs of God? I'll give you proofs of God.
How is it, that...
The Penis Gemach
I originally wrote this post while I was still religious, and published it under a...
50 Shades of Gadlus
Hear me out.
You know how Song of Songs, that legendary work of erotic poetry by...
They Stone Gays, Don’t They?
This one’s a doozy. Bear with me. Also, if you have a bit of context,...
Book Covers
This being a satire website, I couldn't resist satirizing my own book cover, creating a limited edition version of it.
I can never see the words Die at the beginning of a sentence and not think of German. Get your holocausty mind out of the train tracks, it's just because...
I was honored, nay honored, to be part of the rebranding of one of the most established names in Jewish cuisine. Freedom Cracker has been serving up stale cold matza since 1776, and when they approached us to “bring matza to the 21st century”, we jumped at the opportunity.
The...
See also, Anal.
Biography
Philosphy
The Big Three
From the back cover:
Are you worried that someone from the secular world will ask you a question...
Having a Large Family is The Opposite of Valuing Life
We're currently in family therapy, all nine of us and two parents. Even with sessions being 90...
Fiction
Freidom Fighter Profiles a Famous Kiruv Rabbi
In the hyperbolic style of Mishpacha Magazine. Inspired by bullshit like this.
Mild mannered and unassuming, most people looking at Gedalya Halevi Fleagenkrautz would not...
Kiruv
For a long time, I was angry at religion for its own sake.
And don't get me wrong, the thing is full of irrational beliefs and oppressive ideas.
But I'm coming to appreciate over time how, like almost all things, Fundamentalist Religion is really just a tool - a stiff and largely inflexible construct, sort of like a dildo...
As all this darkness and such was unfolding I found myself in a top rabbinical academy, studying to get Smicha and become a Kiruv rabbi myself.
I had dreamt of this for years. This was the purpose of it all – to apply all those years of knowledge for the sake of “saving the Jewish people”, “making an impact”, and...