Satire

No Rest of the Wicked

The bible, so full of contradictory statements, is a perfect setting for Rorschach tests. It’s all...

Genesis

In the beginning God created heaven and earth. When you think heaven, you probably think stars...

Der Judenstaat – FINAL (3).doc

Hear me out. (No good idea ever started with that, did it?) What if the entire...

God’s Not Mad, He’s Just Judging You

One word: Eluuuuuuuuuuuuuuul

Bliss

It's been a while. Can you tell I'm angry? I guess this one has been too...

Book Covers

Good news: if you have money, even being A Good Jew in The Eyes of God™ is easier. Instead of slaving away getting your house clean for Passover, just sell your house to a non-Jew (awesome loophole, Rabbis!) and go to the nearest tropical resort you can find. There, you...
One of my biggest struggles, even when I was still religious, was with the realization that as a person I had grown way more from therapy and self-help books than from any amount of “Torah wisdom”. This was unacceptable to me. I didn’t want it to be this way. Torah...
The kiruv world prides itself in its open-mindedness. "Ask us anything! We will change our views in a heartbeat if you convince us! Sure you can ask about sex, and no, we don't use a hole in the sheet, we're super progressive!" But ask yourself, have any of the really difficult...

Biography

Quotes and Memes

Philosphy

Have a Nice Trip

Psychedelics have played a key part in my growth and healing past traumas. When I have spoken...

The 5 Spiritual Love Languages

Judaism teaches that our interpersonal relationships are just a key to relating to God, especially our romantic...

Olives

So it had come to this. He was dead, and it was judgement time. His first grade Rebbe...

Fiction

Lifetime Guarantee

Avrumi Zeivald was prepared to meet his maker. Or at least a maker. Someone’s, even if not his. The Torah, the Rabbis had assured him,...

Kiruv

“You know what Olam Habah is?” Explains the Slonimer Rebbe. “Olam Habah is the entire earth covered in dump trucks full of gold. And then stack them on top of each other until you reach the sky.” That’s a fuckton of gold. Go get some. -- “Love me, daddy,” says Michael Friedberg, deftly plucking the strings of his guitar while explaining the finer...
Around two years ago, one of my siblings was struck in a hit and run accident. They spent a day in the hospital before any of us family members even found out about it. When we did, there were a few panicked hours as we tried to figure out what had happened to them, how they were doing, and...