Satire

An interview with Rabbi Shalom Tzvi Shore, spiritual leader of the anti-Kiruv movement. This article is part of a series written by the weekly publication Yated magazine, written in their signature broken English and bad grammar that is a mainstay of Orthodox Jewish culture. Speaking with Rabbi Shalom Tzvi Shore,...

Are you in the process of getting brainwashed by an Institute for Jewish Wisdom? Is all that mumbo jumbo getting you down as you try to don a black hat a week after being a regular college kid in California? This handy dandy glossary will provide an explanation for...

This one’s a doozy. Bear with me. Also, if you have a bit of context, you’ll know this ones strike quite close to home. TL;DR at the end. Here’s how the spiel goes: Judaism is amazing. It’s enlightened. It’s changed the world for the better. Judeo Christian values are da...

In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. And water. And light. And trees. And all the other stars and the moon and the sun too. Yes, in that order, motherfuckers, it says so right there in the book. And the fishes. And the animals. And the...

So, yeah, in case you didn't know. This is totally a real law. If you didn't wipe your butt properly, any prayer or study you've done during that time is a sin instead of a virtue. The same law (guf naki) that argues that some women shouldn't be allowed...

Are you starting a new synagogue, and not sure what to call it? Are you an American who doesn't speak any Hebrew or know the correct grammar for stringing words together? Are you hoping to dedicate this new illustrious institution in the memory of a loved one? We can help you...

Judaism teaches that our interpersonal relationships are just a key to relating to God, especially our romantic ones. So, capitalizing on the bestselling book that opened people’s eyes to the fact that not all people are exactly the same, here’s our appropriation of this pop psychology masterpiece. The first...

Shloime the Website Builder of Chelm presents...

“The will of God is so,” explains the The Kiruv Rabbi in the most non-condescending voice he can muster. The Pimply Kid before him, plucked from the bottom of the university barrel, nodded stupidly. “And so,” continued the Rabbi, “It figures by default that the Jews are the most important people...

What lost objects are your own, and which must you return to their owners?Rabbi Akiva says a stack of four coins.Rabbi Meir says five.Who is right? Teiku. No one knows. Schmaltzburg leaned against the fence and took a deep drag of the cigarette. It burned, this being the cheapest, shittiest brand...