Attending a Bar Mitzvah and lost for words?
Trying to impress your future father in law but haven't opened up a book in two weeks?
Use this nifty, handy dandy, sooper dooper dvar torah generator to create some inspiration when you need it the most.
It's like Mad Libs but...
Are you in the process of getting brainwashed by an Institute for Jewish Wisdom? Is all that mumbo jumbo getting you down as you try to don a black hat a week after being a regular college kid in California?
This handy dandy glossary will provide an explanation for...
A precursor of things to come...
I was 11 or 12 years old when my school took us to the neighborhood holocaust museum (what, yours doesn’t have one?)
The rabbis warned us that the museum curators might not have the same sensibilities that we enlightened religious people did, and therefore we might encounter some pictures of...
Spot the meme.
Also, double negatives are so not not cool.
@import url('https://fonts.googleapis.com/css2?family=Alef&display=swap');
body {
margin: 0px;
}
h1, h2, h3, h4, p, ul {
font-family: 'Alef', sans-serif;
color: white !important;
}
a {
color: lightgrey;
font-weight: bold;
font-style: italic;
}
#warinfo {
display: none;
text-align: center;
background-image: url("https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/thumb/0/09/Iron_Dome_in_Operation_Protective_Edge.jpg/800px-Iron_Dome_in_Operation_Protective_Edge.jpg?1660095963136");
background-repeat: no-repeat;
background-size: cover;
...
Hear me out. (No good idea ever started with that, did it?)
What if the entire Zionist idea was just a first draft for an even more Final Solution?
At the time, Zionism was revolutionary. And it has had its benefits, to a degree.
(Although if World War II had broken...
So it had come to this. He was dead, and it was judgement time.
His first grade Rebbe had warned him about this moment. Rosh Hashanah davening had reminded him of it. And now, 83 years later, it was really happening.
“When you arrive in heaven, you’ll stand before God on...
From the creators of the Dvar Torah generator, comes the brand new Ancient Jewish Holiday Generator!
For years, Jews have been inventing holidays in God's name and backdating them into the very fabric of history. With mystical significance and a shitload of intricate rules, Jewish holidays stand unto themselves as...
Even More Freidom
Torah Tidbit #1: The Fucking Snake
My favorite talmudic anecdote from a gemarah in Shabbat somewhere around daf 134ish.
Paraphrased loosely:
"Should a snake...
Lifetime Guarantee
Avrumi Zeivald was prepared to meet his maker. Or at least a maker. Someone’s, even if not...
My Rabbi is Bigger
If I had a dollar for every time someone told me this, I'd have enough money to...
Systemic Trauma
Why must drag our next generation through the dregs of the holocaust?
So that it doesn't happen again?...
Chapter #1: Kindergarten
I hated Morah Tova for about 12 years. I was proud of how much I hated her....
