Biography

Mitzpeh yericho was my only exposure to the National Religious community in Israel. Being charedi, I half admired half looked down upon them. They were so much more balanced. Their lives were simpler, less burdened, seemingly, by religion. And yet that itself was the problem – they didn’t take religion as...

I will not go into detail about this chapter of my life, because it involves other people. I will say this: experiencing other people suffer can be more traumatic than suffering yourself. I still feel myself relapsing into PTSD-like experiences of anxiety and stress when people around me experience...

I have long had a tenuous relationship with Israel. Israelis as a collective bug the shit out of me. Rude, bureaucratic, with very little sense of tact, sophistication, or anything that I perceived as culture. I never really was Israeli – despite being born there, Hebrew is my second...

I sense a continuous state of judgment and disapproval from you towards me and my siblings, for not "doing what's right", not "thinking critically", and not "using our own judgment". We are "following the masses" and "doing what's easy and convenient". I find this accusation absurd in light of what...

Blessed art thou God, who gave the rooster knowledge to differentiate between day and night Every morning, the wakeup ritual was the same. Someone would drag a boom box into the dormitory hallway, and crank out the same Miami Boys song as loudly as they could. “I am grateful to...

The way you get into yeshiva is the exact opposite of red tape. It is the absolute shitshow of a free for all. You kind of stand around the dean’s office and hope to bump into him. You talk to someone who knows someone who might be able to put...

One of the most important days to me, far more than my birthday, is the day I left religion. This is the day, to borrow from fundamentalist religion, that I was born again. For many people it's a gradual process, but for me there was a day in mid-august...

“I’m poly,” I wrote her. “So it’s complicated.” “How come I’m only finding out now?” She wanted to know. “Most poly people put it in their profile. I am not poly.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “I forgot to add it.” “Well, take care then.” --- We had hit off unusually well. Most of my...

I have been practicing caring for my inner child for many months now, focusing on providing it with the basic emotional needs I knew it needed but had never gotten. A sense of being held, of being ok, of feeling contained in compassion, of validation and safety. As I...

Shame is a bitch. A motherfucking cuntbusting bitch. Of all negative emotions, it’s the one that hits me the hardest, because it challenges my very existence. To stare in the face of your shame is to stare into the gut clenching void that says “you suck too much to be here at...