Biography

I have long had a tenuous relationship with Israel. Israelis as a collective bug the shit out of me. Rude, bureaucratic, with very little sense of tact, sophistication, or anything that I perceived as culture. I never really was Israeli – despite being born there, Hebrew is my second...

I joined the army on my 20th birthday. I desperately wanted a change in scenery. This whole yeshiva thing wasn’t working out. I hoped to take a break from it and come back with new energy. I wanted to experience the broader Israel. Meet new people, go to new parts of...

My partner and I recently attended a retreat organized by Footsteps, the organization that supports (mostly) Orthodox Jews leaving religion, especially in the New York area. The retreat was wonderful, and I am grateful to the organization for creating such an enjoyable experience, with a lot of generosity, abundance,...

When I became bar mitzvah, things got intense. I knew that everything until then had been child’s play, just practice for the real thing. Now we were playing for real, and every move I make and every law I break, He’ll be watching me. I remember breaking down and crying...

I sense a continuous state of judgment and disapproval from you towards me and my siblings, for not "doing what's right", not "thinking critically", and not "using our own judgment". We are "following the masses" and "doing what's easy and convenient". I find this accusation absurd in light of what...

I went back to Zlibermans for a month. I thought, “if only I stay in their dorm, that’ll give me the structure I need.” So I moved into the overcrowded apartment that was the main dorm, a 5 minute walk from my house. One person was sleeping on the kitchen counter....

It all fell apart one day, and I do not get credit for doing so. The initiative came from outside myself. I did not have the inner strength to do the unthinkable, the fortitude to acknowledge failure, the resilience to be anything but what my current shitty life was. So it...

I hated Morah Tova for about 12 years. I was proud of how much I hated her. My mother says she was a frustrated artist. I remember telling her she was not invited to my birthday party. She seemed unfazed. I hated going to kindergarten. I would cry, I am...

As all this darkness and such was unfolding I found myself in a top rabbinical academy, studying to get Smicha and become a Kiruv rabbi myself. I had dreamt of this for years. This was the purpose of it all – to apply all those years of knowledge for the...

“I’m poly,” I wrote her. “So it’s complicated.” “How come I’m only finding out now?” She wanted to know. “Most poly people put it in their profile. I am not poly.” “I’m sorry,” I said. “I forgot to add it.” “Well, take care then.” --- We had hit off unusually well. Most of my...