Book Covers

Having grown up deeply ingrained in the Orthodox Jewish world view, it’s a constant process for me to re-examine what I was taught. Some things obviously rubbed me the wrong way, and I questioned them as part of my journey. Other things were less aggravating, so I simply accepted them...

If I had a dollar for every time someone told me this, I'd have enough money to start my own religion. Or at least my own congregation. Same difference, really. Everyone seems to have some magical elusive Judaism that I'm missing out on."Your Judaism is not like my Judaism.""You should...

So, yeah, in case you didn't know. This is totally a real law. If you didn't wipe your butt properly, any prayer or study you've done during that time is a sin instead of a virtue. The same law (guf naki) that argues that some women shouldn't be allowed...

A precursor of things to come...

Sample from chapter #1: Sex in Judaism is a beautiful thing. It’s also terrible. When you do it at the right time, it’s amazing. God himself sits there watching you and jerks off while you’re going at it. When you climax, he does too. Did you know? The relationship between God...

The book cover that started it all. Looking back almost three years to the original comment, I see that I actually independently came up with many of these original ideas. Other titles I can currently come up with include: "Why? answers to life's biggest questions (that just create new questions instead)""The...

From the back cover: Are you worried that someone from the secular world will ask you a question about Judaism that you don’t have an answer for? Are you heading out to a campus to inspire others about Judaism with only a tenuous amount of knowledge of it yourself? Are you concerned...

“Judaism is about relationships,” sayeth the narrative. “It’s about aligning yourself with truth. It’s about becoming more like God, so that you can connect with God (how that doesn’t work is the subject of a separate article).” Furthermore, “Only dim witted people, like women and children (a pretty direct paraphrase...

I must go now, children. But there is cereal in the pantry and I made a list on the fridge of 613 things I’d like you to keep in mind while I’m gone. I’ll be back in 2,000 years. Feel free to interpret my points as you see fit....

This being a satire website, I couldn't resist satirizing my own book cover, creating a limited edition version of it. I can never see the words Die at the beginning of a sentence and not think of German. Get your holocausty mind out of the train tracks, it's just because...