In this episode of Beyond Belief: Tales of Religious Exodus, we sit down with Jennie, who shares her journey from growing up in a conservative Presbyterian and Christian Reformed Church background to questioning her faith and eventually leaving the church. Jennie discusses the complexities of navigating different Christian denominations, the personal impact of religion on her relationships, and the spiritual abuse she endured. She elaborates on her abusive marriage, finding emotional healing through therapy, and her evolving spiritual beliefs.
Jennie now identifies as spiritual rather than religious and is on a journey of self-discovery and healing, drawing on her training as a psychotherapist. This episode highlights the multifaceted experiences of leaving a fundamentalist religion and finding new paths to meaning and wholeness.
00:00 Introduction to Beyond Belief
00:42 Jennie’s Religious Background
01:33 Denominational Differences
03:52 Personal Impact of Religion
06:02 Questioning Faith
09:42 Deconstruction Journey
16:05 Church Scandals and Personal Struggles
23:42 Exploring Spirituality Beyond Religion
25:31 The Void Left by Leaving Religion
27:00 Redefining Connection with God
31:09 The Role of Discernment
33:26 Emotional Healing and Validation
39:16 Journey to Becoming a Psychotherapist
45:12 Advice for Those on a Similar Path
46:05 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Episode Summary
Today, we bring you an interview with Jennie, who shares her unique story of navigating her way out of a religious environment and into a place of self-healing and personal growth.
Growing Up Conservative
Jenny started by discussing her upbringing in a conservative Presbyterian tradition, influenced by the Christian Reformed Church of Dutch background. Growing up in central Ontario, Jenny was part of a mega youth group formed by various denominations, including Pentecostal, Baptist, and Presbyterian churches. Her early religious environment provided her with a sense of structure and community, integral to her formative years.
The Reality of Christian Denominations
During the interview, Shalom, the host, inquired about Jennie’s experience with various Christian denominations. Surprisingly, Jennie did not experience the infighting often portrayed among different Christian groups. For her, the differences were more about styles of worship rather than doctrinal conflicts. She highlighted that while doctrinal differences exist, the level of commitment to the church often plays a more significant role in an individual’s experience within a religious community.
Personal Conflicts and Consequences
Jennie shared a poignant story from her high school years, where she sent a friend a description of hell, believing it was her duty to save her. Reflecting on this memory, Jennie expressed deep regret and embarrassment for her actions, recognizing how harmful religious zeal can be when it overrides personal relationships and compassion.
Transitioning Out of Religion
The transition out of religion began subtly for Jennie. She always had questions about her faith, which only grew as she engaged with different experiences and perspectives. A significant turning point was when she moved to Japan and grappled with the concept of hell in conversations with her Japanese pastor. However, it wasn’t until years later, around 2015, that her deconstruction process became more pronounced.
Influential Experiences and Conversations
Key experiences, such as listening to the Liturgist Podcast and witnessing the church’s handling of LGBTQ+ issues and pastoral misconduct, accelerated Jennie’s journey out of Christianity. In Winnipeg, Jennie was deeply affected by how her church dealt with a friend’s coming out as bisexual and the broader discussion about the church’s stance on the LGBTQ+ community. Additionally, witnessing inappropriate behavior by a pastor, who was later arrested, further disillusioned her about the integrity of church leadership.
A Journey of Healing and Spirituality
Leaving the church did not mean abandoning spirituality for Jennie. She continues to feel a spiritual connection and has explored different spiritual paths, including identifying as a witch and engaging with shamanic practices. Her journey of healing has been significantly supported by consistent therapy, where validation played a crucial role in overcoming past traumas.
Jennie’s advice for those on a similar journey is to trust oneself and recognize the innate intelligence and resilience within. She emphasizes that validating one’s experiences and emotions is vital to healing and moving forward.
Conclusion
Jennie’s story is a testament to the complex, often painful journey of leaving a fundamentalist religious environment. It highlights the importance of supportive communities and the need for personal healing and validation. Through her experiences, we see the profound impact of questioning, introspection, and the pursuit of authentic spirituality.
Thank you, Jennie, for sharing your journey with us. If you found this episode inspiring, please share it with others who might benefit from it. Be sure to subscribe to Beyond Belief to get updates about future episodes.
