What does a fetus resemble in his mother's intestines? A folded notebook... And he sees from one end of the world to the other, and he is taught all the torah. And when he enters the world, an angel comes and smacks him on his mouth and makes him...
So it had come to this. He was dead, and it was judgement time. His first grade Rebbe had warned him about this moment. Rosh Hashanah davening had reminded him of it. And now, 83 years later, it was really happening. “When you arrive in heaven, you’ll stand before God on...
Gedlya Goldfinger holstered his PsalmRay. Whereas the rest of the Goyishe Velt used neutron chips and nanotechnology to power their zappers, the psalm ray, engineered by The Conglomeration of Rabbis Against Advanced Technology, had been constructed mechanically. It was very steampunk, if Gedlaya had only known what that was, or how...
Avreml Zingelwald kicks off his shoes and jumps into the freshly dug grave. He’s done this a thousand times before. It’s his job. Yankel Vozserzach hands him the body. They’ve done this so often, multiple times a day, that their movements are fast, mechanical, sterile. This lumpy body in its shrouds...
              Shimon and Shmuesster are proud to present the newest title in the "Rebbi Stories" collection. Each title lovingly written and embellished, we strive to present you with the most accurate and inspirational accounts of the lives of the gedolim past and present, in order that their story be...
Velvel couldn’t stop dreaming about Magda Pritzovsky. Every Sunday, he’d see her headed to the Greek Orthodox church with the extra little crosses on top of the crosses. Extra Christian. She would always go with her father. He had a long white beard and reeked of potato vodka. He looked like Rasputin. She...
He's a macher. He can get you into seminary and out jail with a well placed phone call. He can bring you back into the fold or get you excommunicated for life with a flick of his flip phone. He's a macher. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and...

Current Weather in Hell

Hell
overcast clouds
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44.5 °
41.8 °
61 %
3.2mph
98 %
Fri
42 °
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41 °
Sun
40 °
Mon
40 °
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Even More Freidom

Chapter #1: Kindergarten

I hated Morah Tova for about 12 years. I was proud of how much I hated her....

Learning to Live

I have been practicing caring for my inner child for many months now, focusing on providing it...

Mussar

For intellectual honesty’s sake, I’ll acknowledge that this cover is a criticism of a specific strain of...

Chapter #12: Darkness

I will not go into detail about this chapter of my life, because it involves other people....

Chapter #4: Good and Evil

When I became bar mitzvah, things got intense. I knew that everything until then had been child’s...