Shalom's Shtetl

Velvel couldn’t stop dreaming about Magda Pritzovsky. Every Sunday, he’d see her headed to the Greek Orthodox church with the extra little crosses on top of the crosses. Extra Christian. She would always go with her father. He had a long white beard and reeked of potato vodka. He looked like Rasputin. She...

Although the narrative is embellished, all the laws and anecdotes described below are real. It so happened, due to a funny quirk from the Holy One Blessed Be He ("God has a great sense of humor,” my mother used to say) that The Beis Guberman Yeshiva for Impressionable Young Men,...

So it had come to this. He was dead, and it was judgement time. His first grade Rebbe had warned him about this moment. Rosh Hashanah davening had reminded him of it. And now, 83 years later, it was really happening. “When you arrive in heaven, you’ll stand before God on...

Gedlya Goldfinger holstered his PsalmRay. Whereas the rest of the Goyishe Velt used neutron chips and nanotechnology to power their zappers, the psalm ray, engineered by The Conglomeration of Rabbis Against Advanced Technology, had been constructed mechanically. It was very steampunk, if Gedlaya had only known what that was, or how...

Sanbelat the Horny was horny. He adjusted the black hat and suit he was wearing, wiping the sweat from his brow. A black hat and suit were the last thing you’d think of wearing in the Middle East, but this what Moses had worn when he left Egypt, so it...

              Shimon and Shmuesster are proud to present the newest title in the "Rebbi Stories" collection. Each title lovingly written and embellished, we strive to present you with the most accurate and inspirational accounts of the lives of the gedolim past and present, in order that their story be...

He's a macher. He can get you into seminary and out jail with a well placed phone call. He can bring you back into the fold or get you excommunicated for life with a flick of his flip phone. He's a macher. He carries the weight of the world on his shoulders, and...