King Solomon


    King Solomon was as Jewish King, the son of King David. The bible describes him as the wisest of all men, and definitely can be trusted to measure people’s IQs.

    Solomon is attributed to having written three different books in the biblical old testmanet:

    • The book Song of Songs, which describes a lover’s unending love of his cheating partner because her boobs are incredible.
    • Ecclesiastes, a delightfully pessimistic book that describes how Solomon tried everything It Wasn’t Worth It. The Rabbis actually fixed the book by smacking on a single verse in the end that revises it to be “but actually if you follow God’s word it’s totally worth it”.
    • Proverbs – a list of one line wisdom zingers that regularly emphasize the value of wise people and the foolishness of fools and jokers.

    Solomon’s writing feats are all the more impressive when you consider the fact that he had 300 wives and 700 concubines, so he could often be found fucking.

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