Avreml Zingelwald kicks off his shoes and jumps into the freshly dug grave. He’s done this a thousand times before. It’s his job. Yankel Vozserzach hands him the body. They’ve done this so often, multiple times a day, that their movements are fast, mechanical, sterile. This lumpy body in its shrouds...
Avrumi Zeivald was prepared to meet his maker. Or at least a maker. Someone’s, even if not his. The Torah, the Rabbis had assured him, came with a lifetime guarantee. It was guaranteed to be true, or he’d be eligible for a full refund. The problem was, that as Avrumi’s...
There is a tradition, at the Eisenkopp Yeshiva for Fine Young Men, that when you make yourself tea, you fling the used teabag at the ceiling and see if it sticks. It is called teabagging, and no one knows why it is done. Some speculate that it’s a reminder that...
So it had come to this. He was dead, and it was judgement time. His first grade Rebbe had warned him about this moment. Rosh Hashanah davening had reminded him of it. And now, 83 years later, it was really happening. “When you arrive in heaven, you’ll stand before God on...

Current Weather in Hell

Hell
clear sky
6.7 ° F
7.8 °
6.7 °
61 %
2.6mph
0 %
Thu
7 °
Fri
11 °
Sat
15 °
Sun
17 °
Mon
16 °

Even More Freidom

Only the Good Stuff

The book cover that started it all. Looking back almost three years to the original comment, I...

Shit People Teach in the Name of Religion

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A Letter to a New Ba’al Teshuva

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Mind The Gap

Sometimes when I wake up from a particularly deep sleep, my subconscious comes online before my conscious...

Angel Zone

What does a fetus resemble in his mother's intestines? A folded notebook... And he sees from one...