Avreml Zingelwald kicks off his shoes and jumps into the freshly dug grave. He’s done this a thousand times before. It’s his job.
Yankel Vozserzach hands him the body. They’ve done this so often, multiple times a day, that their movements are fast, mechanical, sterile.
This lumpy body in its shrouds...
Avrumi Zeivald was prepared to meet his maker. Or at least a maker. Someone’s, even if not his.
The Torah, the Rabbis had assured him, came with a lifetime guarantee. It was guaranteed to be true, or he’d be eligible for a full refund. The problem was, that as Avrumi’s...
There is a tradition, at the Eisenkopp Yeshiva for Fine Young Men, that when you make yourself tea, you fling the used teabag at the ceiling and see if it sticks.
It is called teabagging, and no one knows why it is done. Some speculate that it’s a reminder that...
Current Weather in Hell
Hell
clear sky
33.7
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F
33.7
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29.8
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47 %
1mph
0 %
Fri
34
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Sat
32
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Sun
28
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Mon
24
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Even More Freidom
Only the Good Stuff
The book cover that started it all. Looking back almost three years to the original comment, I...
Earning Heaven
“Judaism is about relationships,” sayeth the narrative. “It’s about aligning yourself with truth. It’s about becoming more...
Shlemple Joins the Army
Join Shlemple on a whimsical journey of soul crushing death and destruction. Sure to be a direct...
You Still Suck
Recent Netflix productions like Unorthodox and My Unorthodox Life have been painting Orthodox Judaism in a shitty...













