Avreml Zingelwald kicks off his shoes and jumps into the freshly dug grave. He’s done this a thousand times before. It’s his job. Yankel Vozserzach hands him the body. They’ve done this so often, multiple times a day, that their movements are fast, mechanical, sterile. This lumpy body in its shrouds...
Avrumi Zeivald was prepared to meet his maker. Or at least a maker. Someone’s, even if not his. The Torah, the Rabbis had assured him, came with a lifetime guarantee. It was guaranteed to be true, or he’d be eligible for a full refund. The problem was, that as Avrumi’s...
There is a tradition, at the Eisenkopp Yeshiva for Fine Young Men, that when you make yourself tea, you fling the used teabag at the ceiling and see if it sticks. It is called teabagging, and no one knows why it is done. Some speculate that it’s a reminder that...
So it had come to this. He was dead, and it was judgement time. His first grade Rebbe had warned him about this moment. Rosh Hashanah davening had reminded him of it. And now, 83 years later, it was really happening. “When you arrive in heaven, you’ll stand before God on...

Current Weather in Hell

Hell
clear sky
33.7 ° F
33.7 °
28.8 °
64 %
1.3mph
0 %
Thu
34 °
Fri
40 °
Sat
36 °
Sun
28 °
Mon
28 °

Even More Freidom

Chapter #14: Light

It all fell apart one day, and I do not get credit for doing so. The initiative came...

Mind The Gap

Sometimes when I wake up from a particularly deep sleep, my subconscious comes online before my conscious...

Chapter #12.5: Independence

As all this darkness and such was unfolding I found myself in a top rabbinical academy, studying...

No Rest for the Wicked

The bible, so full of contradictory statements, is a perfect setting for Rorschach tests. It’s all just spilled...

Ancient Jewish Holiday Generator

From the creators of the Dvar Torah generator, comes the brand new Ancient Jewish Holiday Generator! For years,...