In 1946, following the holocaust, a highly unusual event occurred, one that involved, for the first time in history, the unification of different sects of Judaism. Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform rabbis met together at Steglitz-Zehlendorf in West Berlin; the conference later became known as the Steglitz-Zehlendorf Conference.
The pressing topic...
In the hyperbolic style of Mishpacha Magazine. Inspired by bullshit like this.
Mild mannered and unassuming, most people looking at Gedalya Halevi Fleagenkrautz would not realize the man is truly one of the main leaders of the generation, a gadol who has brought thousands closer to Yiddishkeit.
In the corner, a...
Sanbelat the Horny was horny.
He adjusted the black hat and suit he was wearing, wiping the sweat from his brow. A black hat and suit were the last thing you’d think of wearing in the Middle East, but this what Moses had worn when he left Egypt, so it...
He never learned much math.
Math was limited to two hours a week with a secular studies teacher who spent more time shouting at unruly classmates than teaching arithmetic.
It was a shame, because he would have been good at it.
He could have been an engineer, in an alternate universe....
What does a fetus resemble in his mother's intestines? A folded notebook... And he sees from one end of the world to the other, and he is taught all the torah. And when he enters the world, an angel comes and smacks him on his mouth and makes him...
The streets were windy.
Dark.
Grey and overbearing.
Little slits carved into limestone to accommodate passerby.
Endless tunnels, where people lived over the street.
Never walking in a straight line for more a few steps.
This was home. Safe. Familiar.
Where you had to worry about getting stabbed if you walked one block too far.
Where endless...
What lost objects are your own, and which must you return to their owners?Rabbi Akiva says a stack of four coins.Rabbi Meir says five.Who is right? Teiku. No one knows.
Schmaltzburg leaned against the fence and took a deep drag of the cigarette.
It burned, this being the cheapest, shittiest brand...
Gedlya Goldfinger holstered his PsalmRay.
Whereas the rest of the Goyishe Velt used neutron chips and nanotechnology to power their zappers, the psalm ray, engineered by The Conglomeration of Rabbis Against Advanced Technology, had been constructed mechanically.
It was very steampunk, if Gedlaya had only known what that was, or how...
“On Rosh Hashanah, we pray to be inscribed in the book of life,” explains Rabbi Feigenkrantz. “On Yom Kippur, Hashem seals the deal.”
It was a very narrow window of opportunity that affected the rest of the year, so try to stay inspired. Don’t fuck this up, ok? Rabbi Feigenkrantz...
Current Weather in Hell
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