This was a post I wrote in my teens, while I was still very much religious. As you can see, I was still very bothered by the absolutely abysmal quality of literate in the Jewish community.
BS”D
By C. Yackobovitch
Writing Frum novels can be an exciting, creative and rewarding experience....
The Chevrolet Escapade truly is a tiny a vehicle. But it gets great gas mileage. For the first 26 years, the hydraulic pistons in the back of this one would hold open the trunk when you loaded it. Now a broomstick, permanently stored in the back, sufficed for the...
Hear me out. (No good idea ever started with that, did it?)
What if the entire Zionist idea was just a first draft for an even more Final Solution?
At the time, Zionism was revolutionary. And it has had its benefits, to a degree.
(Although if World War II had broken...
In 1946, following the holocaust, a highly unusual event occurred, one that involved, for the first time in history, the unification of different sects of Judaism. Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform rabbis met together at Steglitz-Zehlendorf in West Berlin; the conference later became known as the Steglitz-Zehlendorf Conference.
The pressing topic...
Avrumi Zeivald was prepared to meet his maker. Or at least a maker. Someone’s, even if not his.
The Torah, the Rabbis had assured him, came with a lifetime guarantee. It was guaranteed to be true, or he’d be eligible for a full refund. The problem was, that as Avrumi’s...
What does a fetus resemble in his mother's intestines? A folded notebook... And he sees from one end of the world to the other, and he is taught all the torah. And when he enters the world, an angel comes and smacks him on his mouth and makes him...
I originally wrote this post while I was still religious, and published it under a pseudonym on Jewrotica. At this point, gentlemen, I have nothing to hide.
Berel Shtiklwitz was an entrepreneur. A social entrepreneur, to be exact.
He recognized a need: a lot of seminary girls out there were horny but...
Sanbelat the Horny was horny.
He adjusted the black hat and suit he was wearing, wiping the sweat from his brow. A black hat and suit were the last thing you’d think of wearing in the Middle East, but this what Moses had worn when he left Egypt, so it...
Gedlya Goldfinger holstered his PsalmRay.
Whereas the rest of the Goyishe Velt used neutron chips and nanotechnology to power their zappers, the psalm ray, engineered by The Conglomeration of Rabbis Against Advanced Technology, had been constructed mechanically.
It was very steampunk, if Gedlaya had only known what that was, or how...
Avreml Zingelwald kicks off his shoes and jumps into the freshly dug grave. He’s done this a thousand times before. It’s his job.
Yankel Vozserzach hands him the body. They’ve done this so often, multiple times a day, that their movements are fast, mechanical, sterile.
This lumpy body in its shrouds...
Current Weather in Hell
Hell
overcast clouds
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Even More Freidom
Kiruv Oxymorons for the Ages
It took me a long time to realize this, but the kiruv system pulls some really sophisticated...
The Tree of Undisclosed Fruit
In the beginning, God created throat cancer and eye parasites and rivers for people to drown in....
Would Your Parents Lie to You?
“No other religion claims to have experienced public revelation. Therefore, it’s a claim that is so outlandish,...


















