There is a tradition, at the Eisenkopp Yeshiva for Fine Young Men, that when you make yourself tea, you fling the used teabag at the ceiling and see if it sticks.
It is called teabagging, and no one knows why it is done. Some speculate that it’s a reminder that...
What lost objects are your own, and which must you return to their owners?Rabbi Akiva says a stack of four coins.Rabbi Meir says five.Who is right? Teiku. No one knows.
Schmaltzburg leaned against the fence and took a deep drag of the cigarette.
It burned, this being the cheapest, shittiest brand...
Avreml Zingelwald kicks off his shoes and jumps into the freshly dug grave. He’s done this a thousand times before. It’s his job.
Yankel Vozserzach hands him the body. They’ve done this so often, multiple times a day, that their movements are fast, mechanical, sterile.
This lumpy body in its shrouds...
In 1946, following the holocaust, a highly unusual event occurred, one that involved, for the first time in history, the unification of different sects of Judaism. Orthodox, Conservative, and Reform rabbis met together at Steglitz-Zehlendorf in West Berlin; the conference later became known as the Steglitz-Zehlendorf Conference.
The pressing topic...
Sanbelat the Horny was horny.
He adjusted the black hat and suit he was wearing, wiping the sweat from his brow. A black hat and suit were the last thing you’d think of wearing in the Middle East, but this what Moses had worn when he left Egypt, so it...
Velvel couldn’t stop dreaming about Magda Pritzovsky.
Every Sunday, he’d see her headed to the Greek Orthodox church with the extra little crosses on top of the crosses. Extra Christian.
She would always go with her father. He had a long white beard and reeked of potato vodka.
He looked like Rasputin.
She...
He never learned much math.
Math was limited to two hours a week with a secular studies teacher who spent more time shouting at unruly classmates than teaching arithmetic.
It was a shame, because he would have been good at it.
He could have been an engineer, in an alternate universe....
What does a fetus resemble in his mother's intestines? A folded notebook... And he sees from one end of the world to the other, and he is taught all the torah. And when he enters the world, an angel comes and smacks him on his mouth and makes him...
The streets were windy.
Dark.
Grey and overbearing.
Little slits carved into limestone to accommodate passerby.
Endless tunnels, where people lived over the street.
Never walking in a straight line for more a few steps.
This was home. Safe. Familiar.
Where you had to worry about getting stabbed if you walked one block too far.
Where endless...
Current Weather in Hell
Hell
scattered clouds
8.5
°
F
13.8
°
8.5
°
85 %
2.6mph
40 %
Mon
18
°
Tue
15
°
Wed
16
°
Thu
11
°
Fri
10
°
Even More Freidom
Chapter #4: Good and Evil
When I became bar mitzvah, things got intense. I knew that everything until then had been child’s...



















