What does a fetus resemble in his mother's intestines? A folded notebook... And he sees from one end of the world to the other, and he is taught all the torah. And when he enters the world, an angel comes and smacks him on his mouth and makes him...
He never learned much math.
Math was limited to two hours a week with a secular studies teacher who spent more time shouting at unruly classmates than teaching arithmetic.
It was a shame, because he would have been good at it.
He could have been an engineer, in an alternate universe....
Avreml Zingelwald kicks off his shoes and jumps into the freshly dug grave. He’s done this a thousand times before. It’s his job.
Yankel Vozserzach hands him the body. They’ve done this so often, multiple times a day, that their movements are fast, mechanical, sterile.
This lumpy body in its shrouds...
Velvel couldn’t stop dreaming about Magda Pritzovsky.
Every Sunday, he’d see her headed to the Greek Orthodox church with the extra little crosses on top of the crosses. Extra Christian.
She would always go with her father. He had a long white beard and reeked of potato vodka.
He looked like Rasputin.
She...
This was a post I wrote in my teens, while I was still very much religious. As you can see, I was still very bothered by the absolutely abysmal quality of literate in the Jewish community.
BS”D
By C. Yackobovitch
Writing Frum novels can be an exciting, creative and rewarding experience....
The streets were windy.
Dark.
Grey and overbearing.
Little slits carved into limestone to accommodate passerby.
Endless tunnels, where people lived over the street.
Never walking in a straight line for more a few steps.
This was home. Safe. Familiar.
Where you had to worry about getting stabbed if you walked one block too far.
Where endless...
In the hyperbolic style of Mishpacha Magazine. Inspired by bullshit like this.
Mild mannered and unassuming, most people looking at Gedalya Halevi Fleagenkrautz would not realize the man is truly one of the biggest leaders of the generation, a gadol who has brought thousands closer to Yiddishkeit.
In the corner, a...
There is a tradition, at the Eisenkopp Yeshiva for Fine Young Men, that when you make yourself tea, you fling the used teabag at the ceiling and see if it sticks.
It is called teabagging, and no one knows why it is done. Some speculate that it’s a reminder that...
Sanbelat the Horny was horny.
He adjusted the black hat and suit he was wearing, wiping the sweat from his brow. A black hat and suit were the last thing you’d think of wearing in the Middle East, but this what Moses had worn when he left Egypt, so it...
Current Weather in Hell
Hell
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Even More Freidom
Well, Take Care Then: A Polyamorous Journey to Nowhere
“I’m poly,” I wrote her. “So it’s complicated.”
“How come I’m only finding out now?” She wanted to...
Shmoozing With a Sheigetz: Rabbi Shalom Shore
An interview with Rabbi Shalom Tzvi Shore, spiritual leader of the anti-Kiruv movement. This article is part...
Love Me, Daddy
“You know what Olam Habah is?” Explains the Slonimer Rebbe. “Olam Habah is the entire earth covered...
Having a Large Family is The Opposite of Valuing Life
We're currently in family therapy, all nine of us and two parents. Even with sessions being 90...
Modes of transportation
Some run towards the fire, Some run from it
Some ride towards the end.
Head held high, staunchly gripping...



















