He never learned much math.
Math was limited to two hours a week with a secular studies teacher who spent more time shouting at unruly classmates than teaching arithmetic.
It was a shame, because he would have been good at it.
He could have been an engineer, in an alternate universe....
What does a fetus resemble in his mother's intestines? A folded notebook... And he sees from one end of the world to the other, and he is taught all the torah. And when he enters the world, an angel comes and smacks him on his mouth and makes him...
“On Rosh Hashanah, we pray to be inscribed in the book of life,” explains Rabbi Feigenkrantz. “On Yom Kippur, Hashem seals the deal.”
It was a very narrow window of opportunity that affected the rest of the year, so try to stay inspired. Don’t fuck this up, ok? Rabbi Feigenkrantz...
In the hyperbolic style of Mishpacha Magazine. Inspired by bullshit like this.
Mild mannered and unassuming, most people looking at Gedalya Halevi Fleagenkrautz would not realize the man is truly one of the biggest leaders of the generation, a gadol who has brought thousands closer to Yiddishkeit.
In the corner, a...
Avreml Zingelwald kicks off his shoes and jumps into the freshly dug grave. He’s done this a thousand times before. It’s his job.
Yankel Vozserzach hands him the body. They’ve done this so often, multiple times a day, that their movements are fast, mechanical, sterile.
This lumpy body in its shrouds...
Gedlya Goldfinger holstered his PsalmRay.
Whereas the rest of the Goyishe Velt used neutron chips and nanotechnology to power their zappers, the psalm ray, engineered by The Conglomeration of Rabbis Against Advanced Technology, had been constructed mechanically.
It was very steampunk, if Gedlaya had only known what that was, or how...
This was a post I wrote in my teens, while I was still very much religious. As you can see, I was still very bothered by the absolutely abysmal quality of literate in the Jewish community.
BS”D
By C. Yackobovitch
Writing Frum novels can be an exciting, creative and rewarding experience....
The streets were windy.
Dark.
Grey and overbearing.
Little slits carved into limestone to accommodate passerby.
Endless tunnels, where people lived over the street.
Never walking in a straight line for more a few steps.
This was home. Safe. Familiar.
Where you had to worry about getting stabbed if you walked one block too far.
Where endless...
Velvel couldn’t stop dreaming about Magda Pritzovsky.
Every Sunday, he’d see her headed to the Greek Orthodox church with the extra little crosses on top of the crosses. Extra Christian.
She would always go with her father. He had a long white beard and reeked of potato vodka.
He looked like Rasputin.
She...
Current Weather in Hell
Hell
clear sky
28.3
°
F
28.3
°
24.8
°
50 %
3.8mph
0 %
Sun
28
°
Mon
15
°
Tue
12
°
Wed
17
°
Thu
14
°
Even More Freidom
Well, Take Care Then: A Polyamorous Journey to Nowhere
“I’m poly,” I wrote her. “So it’s complicated.”
“How come I’m only finding out now?” She wanted to...
Conditioning for Pleasure
I’ve been working with a coach on experiencing pleasure. It’s not that I haven’t experienced it at...
The Atheist & The Foxhole
“There are no atheists in a foxhole,” Noah Weinberg used to love to say, swiftly eradicating...
Maybe You’re Extra Delusional
I was recently called arrogant by a Shabbos guest.
I didn’t object, because maybe I’m arrogant, but I...



















