Shimon and Shmuesster are proud to present the newest title in the "Rebbi Stories" collection. Each title lovingly written and embellished, we strive to present you with the most accurate and inspirational accounts of the lives of the gedolim past and present, in order that their story be...
Gedlya Goldfinger holstered his PsalmRay. Whereas the rest of the Goyishe Velt used neutron chips and nanotechnology to power their zappers, the psalm ray, engineered by The Conglomeration of Rabbis Against Advanced Technology, had been constructed mechanically. It was very steampunk, if Gedlaya had only known what that was, or how...
I originally wrote this post while I was still religious, and published it under a pseudonym on Jewrotica. At this point, gentlemen, I have nothing to hide. Berel Shtiklwitz was an entrepreneur. A social entrepreneur, to be exact. He recognized a need: a lot of seminary girls out there were horny but...
The Chevrolet Escapade truly is a tiny a vehicle. But it gets great gas mileage. For the first 26 years, the hydraulic pistons in the back of this one would hold open the trunk when you loaded it. Now a broomstick, permanently stored in the back, sufficed for the...
Avreml Zingelwald kicks off his shoes and jumps into the freshly dug grave. He’s done this a thousand times before. It’s his job. Yankel Vozserzach hands him the body. They’ve done this so often, multiple times a day, that their movements are fast, mechanical, sterile. This lumpy body in its shrouds...
So it had come to this. He was dead, and it was judgement time. His first grade Rebbe had warned him about this moment. Rosh Hashanah davening had reminded him of it. And now, 83 years later, it was really happening. “When you arrive in heaven, you’ll stand before God on...

Current Weather in Hell

Hell
clear sky
71.5 ° F
71.5 °
64.8 °
37 %
2.9mph
0 %
Sun
72 °
Mon
67 °
Tue
55 °
Wed
56 °
Thu
72 °

Even More Freidom

Sorry Not Sorry

I hate this time of year. I hate personal growth that gets scheduled on a calendar. A month...

A Response to “My Unorthodox Life”

The following is a guest post by an anonymous contributor. I found their response articulate, poignant, and...

Pew Pew

Gedlya Goldfinger holstered his PsalmRay. Whereas the rest of the Goyishe Velt used neutron chips and nanotechnology to...

Modes of transportation

Some run towards the fire, Some run from it Some ride towards the end. Head held high, staunchly gripping...

Something’s Gotta Give

My partner just came back from an eight-day silent meditation retreat. She remarked (with some jealousy) how...