So, yeah, in case you didn't know. This is totally a real law. If you didn't wipe your butt properly, any prayer or study you've done during that time is a sin instead of a virtue. The same law (guf naki) that argues that some women shouldn't...
It's been a while. Can you tell I'm angry? I guess this one has been too painful to even make fun of until now. I think this claim is probably the most pretentious and disappointing claim I encountered in Judaism.
“No other religion claims to have experienced public revelation. Therefore, it’s a claim that is so outlandish, that it must have actually occurred because otherwise no one else would have been stupid enough to believe in it, or brazen enough to ‘introduce’ it into the cultural narrative.”
I must go now, children. But there is cereal in the pantry and I made a list on the fridge of 613 things I’d like you to keep in mind while I’m gone. I’ll be back in 2,000 years. Feel free to interpret my points as you...
Having grown up deeply ingrained in the Orthodox Jewish world view, it’s a constant process for me to re-examine what I was taught. Some things obviously rubbed me the wrong way, and I questioned them as part of my journey. Other things were less...
For a long time, I was angry at religion for its own sake. And don't get me wrong, the thing is full of irrational beliefs and oppressive ideas. But I'm coming to appreciate over time how, like almost all things,...
Good news: if you have money, even being A Good Jew in The Eyes of God™ is easier. Instead of slaving away getting your house clean for Passover, just sell your house to a non-Jew (awesome loophole, Rabbis!) and go to the nearest tropical...
zilbermans freidom fighter
There’s a little booklet you can get, and it tells you when you can worship God. He’s available from 6:43 AM until 8:42. After that he’ll be pissed that you missed your appointment. There’s a Siddur you can get, with a compass in the...
If you believe in God from a philosophical point of view, you shouldn’t need any emotional scaffolding to keep things up. The absurdity of one-off inspirational stories of any kind should be obvious to even the most casual of contemplators, and yet it forms...
Everybody should —in their lifetime consider death, To wonder what it will be like to go to sleep and never wake up. the contemplation of death, and the acceptance of death, is very highly generative of creative life. - Alan Watts In my hypnotherapy practice,...

Current Weather in Hell

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Even More Freidom

Sex

Sample from chapter #1: Sex in Judaism is a beautiful thing. It’s...

Prepare to Meet Your Macher

He's a macher. He can get you into seminary and out jail...

Spoken Word

One of my favorite memories of all time is a simple one. Reuven Karasik and Tehila Ben Kalifa came...

Touched by an Angle

See also, Anal.

Teabagging

There is a tradition, at the Eisenkopp Yeshiva for Fine Young Men, that when you...