Satire

In the beginning God created heaven and earth. When you think heaven, you probably think stars and shit. But no, those were created on the fourth day. We're still on day one here. Meanwhile, the earth was really dark, and God was blowing his Godly wind all over the water. It...

What does a fetus resemble in his mother's intestines? A folded notebook... And he sees from one end of the world to the other, and he is taught all the torah. And when he enters the world, an angel comes and smacks him on his mouth and makes him...

Sanbelat the Horny was horny. He adjusted the black hat and suit he was wearing, wiping the sweat from his brow. A black hat and suit were the last thing you’d think of wearing in the Middle East, but this what Moses had worn when he left Egypt, so it...

You want proofs of God? I'll give you proofs of God. How is it, that the word Zayin, which means both Fuck and Dick in Hebrew, looks so amazingly like a dick when turned on its side? Checkmate atheists. And it's the 7th letter in the Hebrew alphabet, which...

Join Shlemple on a whimsical journey of soul crushing death and destruction. Sure to be a direct hit for the whole family.

Are you in need of some chizuk in this trying times? Do you need an anecdotal story that will remind you without a shadow of a doubt that hashem is looking out for your every move to make sure you are safe and protected? This handy generator will generate the...

Are you starting a new synagogue, and not sure what to call it? Are you an American who doesn't speak any Hebrew or know the correct grammar for stringing words together? Are you hoping to dedicate this new illustrious institution in the memory of a loved one? We can help you...

Hear me out. (No good idea ever started with that, did it?) What if the entire Zionist idea was just a first draft for an even more Final Solution? At the time, Zionism was revolutionary. And it has had its benefits, to a degree. (Although if World War II had broken...

Velvel couldn’t stop dreaming about Magda Pritzovsky. Every Sunday, he’d see her headed to the Greek Orthodox church with the extra little crosses on top of the crosses. Extra Christian. She would always go with her father. He had a long white beard and reeked of potato vodka. He looked like Rasputin. She...

Rabbi Chananya said: who is a dumbass? he who walks four cubits without his head covered. And Rabbi Akashya said: no, he is a bitchass cracker. -- Rabbi Yishmael said: why are the people the Galilee called Freedom Farters? Because they have poopy buttholes. And Rabbi Shmarya said: in our town...